Creating positive sideline behavior with Soccer Parenting

As a mother to a daughter who was becoming increasingly serious about her soccer, Skye Eddy felt that she wasn’t showing up the way she knew she should because she lacked the resources.

Despite a career as a former professional soccer player, with a brief stint in Italian football, and as a collegiate All-American goalkeeper, Eddy was unaware of what it took to parent a child growing up with soccer.

After her playing career, she began seeking educational guides and interviewing various experts who could help her and benefit other parents in similar situations. Simultaneously, she recognized the importance of parents fostering a stronger bond with the coach to enhance player development.

These efforts culminated in the establishment of Soccer Parenting, with Eddy at the helm today.

“At Soccer Parenting, we're always encouraging parents to be more curious. We really believe that when parents seek information about how to support their child, great things will happen,” Eddy says.

The former player emphasizes the importance of maintaining perspective for parents of young athletes. Reflecting on her own experience with her daughter, she admits to expecting her eight-year-old to perform with the skills and maturity of a twenty-year-old, which led to unrealistic expectations.

A key objective of Soccer Parenting is to help parents avoid this pitfall. Eddy advocates for a shift in how youth sports are perceived, focusing on enjoyment, friendships, and community rather than just competition and performance.

“Youth sports are supposed to be for children and are supposed to be fun. And they should be full of joy, friendships, and a sense of community. All the learning will happen over time if they’re in a good environment with a good-quality coach,” she says.

Since its establishment, Soccer Parenting has received exclusively positive feedback from coaches, players, and parents.

“The other really exciting change that we’ve seen since I founded Soccer Parenting is a wonderful evolution in the way that coaches are starting to feel about parents on the sideline,” Eddy explains before she continues.

“We’re starting to see a real shift from coaches wanting to avoid them as much as possible to parents playing an important and essential role in the sports experience of children and the sports ecosystem. Coaches actively engaging with parents are more satisfied with their job.”

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One focus area at Soccer Parenting is parent engagement. According to Eddy, effective parent engagement improves the environment for players and increases their level of motivation. Additionally, coaches will be more satisfied, which is crucial because there is a need for quality coaches in youth soccer. Too many coaches are leaving the game and experiencing burnout, so parent engagement can help address this issue. Moreover, parents will become more empathetic to the needs of both the players and the coaches.

The difference between supportive and distracting behaviors

When talking about parent engagement, one cannot avoid discussing sideline behavior. At Soccer Parenting, sideline behavior is one of the core focus areas through their Sideline Project program.

“We’ve come to realize that we all are clear on what hostile behavior is. And for the most part, hostile behavior is in the hands of a handful of people. This is yelling at referees, players, your child, and coaches. It absolutely happens way too much during a soccer game, but it often happens from a core group of people,” Eddy says.

Therefore, Soccer Parenting focuses its culture change efforts not on changing hostile behavior, which is challenging to influence. Instead, they target the behavior of well-intentioned but sometimes stressed parents.

Their goal is to educate these parents on the difference between supportive and distracting behaviors. When parents understand that what they believe is helpful may actually hinder their child’s cognitive growth, they begin to change. Supportive behaviors, like positive cheering and motivational comments, are encouraged.

By focusing on educating well-intentioned parents rather than attempting to change the behavior of a few hostile ones, Soccer Parenting aims to foster a more positive environment for young athletes.

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“I really believe in the importance of children having access to video”

‍An important aspect of Eddy and Soccer Parenting is filming soccer games. When talking about recording soccer games, Eddy touches on the topic of self-determination theory. Self-determination theory has three key components: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

“One of the things that I love about video is that it really supports a child in all three of those areas. So they're on their own. They're looking at their videos, watching their game performance, and doing this on their own. They're actually seeking this learning and their knowledge themselves. They're in their room doing this. And it's something they feel like is their own. It doesn't have to be a parent doing it with them or a coach doing it with them. Maybe it will be at times, but it is a way for children to feel a sense of autonomy about their sporting experience and competence. They’re really starting to learn and grow by watching video,” she says.

“My daughter had such a transformation in her playing. When she started to have access to her video, she suddenly would come to me and say, ‘Hey, mom, I see what you're saying now.’ Or, ‘Don't you think I could have moved the ball forward faster in this environment?’ She would show me the video, and I could see her learning right in front of me.”

Furthermore, Eddy sees this beautiful sense of competence that happens when children watch the video. The kids feel a deeper connection to the sport by watching themselves play, maybe even sharing that on social media if you're okay with it as a family. Suddenly, they start to form an identity as soccer players just from watching the video.

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“I really believe in the importance of children having access to video. Another key area about video that we are big proponents of at Soccer Parenting is this concept that we call moments of ignition. This is when you put a little bit of gas on the fire as a parent to see this beautiful love of the game emerge,” Eddy says before she explains.

“When children watch video and have this stronger sense of connection, they actually feel a deeper connection to the game. The most exciting thing as a parent is to watch your child fall in love with the game, feel a strong sense of connection and motivation about something, and feel like they have a strong sense of purpose. We want this for our children, and we're excited that simply watching video can help build that.”

Finally, Eddy makes an appeal to the parents. A survey by Soccer Parenting revealed that 85% of surveyed parents do not know the names of the other parents of their child’s teammates.

“One thing that parents can do is to actively work to know the names of the parents on their child's team and to know which parent matches up with which child. We encourage them to create more social events with the teams. Parents should engage and be intentional about creating environments where the players can interact outside of games. A great way to do this is by watching highlights from the season at an end-of-season party or a similar event.”

“We know that when we feel a stronger sense of community, kids will be more inspired, will have a stronger sense of connection, and feel more motivation,” she ends.

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